Japan Social Rules: Beyond the Basics

I embarrassed myself more times than I can count in Japan

The thing about Japan is — everyone tells you about the big rules. Take off shoes. Bow. Don't be loud on trains.

What they don't tell you is the stuff that will make you feel like an idiot in everyday situations.

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The name card thing

I gave my professor my business card like it was a playing card. Just held it out between two fingers.

He took it with both hands, looked at it carefully, then placed it respectfully on the table.

I wanted to disappear.

In Japan, business cards (meishi) are treated like the person themselves. You give and receive with both hands. You don't fold them, write on them, or shove them in your back pocket. You put them somewhere neat and respectful.

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Slurping noodles is okay — actually encouraged

I was so self-conscious about slurping my ramen. Thought it was bad manners.

It's not. In Japan, slurping shows you're enjoying the food. It's a compliment to the cook. Now I slurp with pride.

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The train thing

I got on a train car and sat down in what I thought was an empty seat. An older man gestured at me angrily. I didn't understand.

I was in the women's car. (That was fun to explain.)

Look for the signs. Colors and characters differ by line. Also: no talking on phones in train cars. Keep your phone on silent and if you must answer, speak quietly or get off.

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Trash cans are basically nonexistent

Where do you throw trash?

I walked around for 20 minutes with my convenience store garbage once because there was literally nowhere to put it.

Convenience stores have them. Train stations have them. But street trash cans? Rare. Get used to carrying a little bag in your pocket.

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The tipping thing

Don't.

I repeat: don't tip in Japan. It's rude. Service is included. Leaving extra money confuses and embarrasses people.

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The quiet thing

Japan is not quiet in the way I expected. It's quieter in some places (trains, libraries, hospitals) and louder in others (izakaya, arcades, some restaurants).

But the key is: be mindful of your volume. Speaking loudly on a mostly-quiet train car will get you looks. Using your phone on silent? Fine. Having a full-volume conversation? Not fine.

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The垃圾分类 thing

This is real and it is complicated.

burning trash, plastics, PET bottles, cans, glass — each has its own day and its own rules. In some apartments, you have to separate by type and put them out only on certain mornings.

I got a violation notice my first month. My bad.

Get the app. Search for your specific address's rules. Yes, it's annoying. But you will figure it out.